Heavy.

When I was getting married I watched tons of wedding TV, hours and hours spent identifying with women in the same harried stage of life. I have found that now that I am really getting into this new lifestyle I am watching tons of weight loss TV. My DVR is dominated with The Biggest Loser, Heavy, Too Fat for Fifteen. Something about watching the struggle and totally knowing where the people are coming from really hits home with me. Some days it is enough to push me off the couch for crunches during the show or to make me rethink the pudding cup I really thought I wanted to eat.

A recurring (scary) concept on many of these shows is food addiction. I have always thought, much like the a little too casual drug user - that food addiction was something other people had. I just liked to eat and enjoyed food, I wasn't addicted.

Over the past couple of months I have begun to rethink that. I have realized that when I eat, I don't even know what I am eating. I don't enjoy the food - I just wolf it down; eating entire meals in less than two minutes. I have watched myself eat ten chocolate pieces, unwrapping them in quick succession and swallowing them before I even realize what I have done. 500 calories down the gullet in 15 seconds. This is not normal, nor is it okay.

With all of that being said, I am working on it; I am making progress. Yesterday I held a Hershey's Nugget in my hand thinking it "was only 50 calories." I forced myself to put it down, drink a glass of water and hit the scale. The number I saw, while still 17 pounds down from where I started, stared me in the face like a big stop sign. I put the candy back in the jar.

Monday Weekly Weigh-In: 248 pounds
Total Lost to Date: 17 pounds